Moving Forward?

I know that there is so much I need to do right now. I need to get my life in order and keep moving forward. I miss Todd so much though that it is literally dibilitating. I have a hard time moving forward and keep going. I miss the life I could have had and everything I was promised in it. He wasn't supposed to go. It's not supposed to be like this. I feel like I'm focusing way too much on me. That I complain too much. But at the same time I cannot concentrate. I can't focus on what I want to. Everything in my life feels like it's just a giant lie. That he'll just come home and fix things. But I know that will never happen. How am I supposed to move forward when everything in my life is backwards. If I had to choose between living the rest of my life or reliving these last 4 years over and over again. I choose the last 4 years. What promises can I have forward if all the promises I cared about had to do with him?

Shae